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Brynn? Never Heard of Her
This is what greeted me in Brynn's cubby at preschool pick-up today:
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A hard-cover Baby Einstein "Lift the flap" book with a Ziplock baggie taped to the front containing the twenty-three flaps my two-year-old systematically tore off.
Then Miss Amy busted her. Then Brynn smiled. Ewwww, Bryyynnn, I don't believe I would've done that.
But then Miss Amy decided to let Brynn live.
To honor Miss Amy's brave and controversial decision to let Brynn live I just knew I had to do something. Something drastic. I was bombarded with images in my head of old school sitcoms where a teenage boy was caught smoking and his hard-nosed father stuck him in a barren room with hundreds of cigarettes and made that boy smoke them all until he was physically ill and vowed to never, ever again so much as take a drag of another cigarette.
There I had it. Aversion therapy was the only solution to bookgate. If it works for smoking maybe it works for bibliodestruction.
I plopped Brynn's little delinquent tushy down right there in the middle of the children's section of the public library and buried her in a mound of books. There she sat, surrounded by thousands of pages of print, and I'll be doggone if that quick-study-of-a-toddler didn't pledge to never again tear another page of a book by the time she was on her third pack of Lucky Strikes.
When will the book maker people come to their senses and realize that books aimed at two-year-olds and younger have no business having any rippable parts on them? Oh, wait, they probably expect an ADULT to be reading it TO them. Yeah. They haven't met MY kids.
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Well I'll be darned! Think that would work to cure tantrums or other miscellaneous delinquent behaviour?
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OMG, I am totally going to have to try that! My two year old did the same thing to four books last week. Luckily, it was at home!
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Hah Hah, you said bibliodestruction. I love it!
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She lives! I was wondering where you'd hidden yourself. I wonder if that works with candy or fruit snacks? HMMM...I may be trying it. And, I love bibliodestruction. What a word.
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Will have to try the Lucky Strikes. Nothing else has worked, thus far.
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Precious! Only Brynn could get away with it!!!
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Eewwww, I don't think I would have left the book in Brynn's cubby like that! Smacks of passive-aggresiveness (or maybe agressive-agressiveness?).
Like you wouldn't have believed the teacher if she had told you?
And I mean, SERIOUSLY?? Kids tear the flaps off of lift the flap books. There's studies on it, you know.
Our Frog On A Log book just lost two flaps yesterday and Where's Maisy is down one bird in a tree.
Those Baby Einstein books suck anyway. Brynn did that classroom a favor.
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Thank God she just tore them off, imagine the aversion therapy you'd have to initiated had she actually EATEN them. Welcome back. I missed you so.
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Where was the teacher while Brynn was ripping off each and every one of those 23 flaps? Was she on a freaking smoke break? I mean, come on lady, supervise your freaking prisoners, uh... I mean children in your classroom.
And Lucky Strikes? You are a cruel mother. I would have picked Marlboro menthols, so that I could have at least smoked with her.
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3rd pack??? ... took a whole carton to teach my kid a lesson.
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Lucky Strikes? You ARE tough. I've actually avoided a bookgate so far (knock on wood) but I that's because we found a torn book at the library and I made a HUGE deal about what a tragedy it was and now they get scared if they even drop a book.
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Were we separated at birth?
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Yeah, great book to let two-year-olds read themselves... If my daughters teacher left me a guilt trip like that in her basket I would seriously have a chat with her about supervision and common sense... You are not to blame, that's for sure! As for little innocent-eyed Brynn, I bet she was framed once again!
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Are the Lucky Strikes rolled up in the sleeve?
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Just bumped into your blog and laughed my butt off as I reached the end of this post. Well, I laughed it off before that but the last line just did me in.
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Oh, great strategy. We've had our share of book rippers around here. But now we're mostly just book losers. "Where's my library book?" is the phrase most commonly heard uttered by one of more of the kids.
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I won't belabor the obvious (that you're too darned funny, woman!) so I'll just point out that Miss Amy needs a life. If she has time to bag up a bunch of pieces of book, doesn't she have time to maybe read the book to Brynn so Brynn won't tear it apart? I mean, just sayin', but isn't she supposed to be WATCHING the kids and PREVENTING them from ripping books? Why does everything have to be the MOM's fault?! This falls squarely on Miss Amy's shoulders, hon. And you tell her I said so.
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I stumbled onto your site from another and its hiliarious!
Lift the flap books have a short life span in my house, I've always wondered why bother even making them for kids under three? Those flaps in their eyes are just begging to be ripped clean off. Just yesterday we had a elmo amputation of sorts. sigh. I hope this isnt a sign that they are headed for juvenille hall!
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What did Miss Amy expect with a lot of toddlers and preschoolers left to their own devices with a lift-the-flap book? Those things are just ripe for ripping! I taught for 7 years, and I invested in a LOOOOOOOTTTTTT of Scotch tape for the main purpose of taping those darn lift-the-flaps! You go, Brynn -- it's part of growing up!
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i just wayyyy too much time on your blog - you're funny!
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Found you via Get In The Car! Love your blog. You are hysterical! Will be coming back often.
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Snort. I've had that kind of thing happen - but not with Every Single Flap.
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I have just discovered you via bossy's excellent road trip. You're cracking me up. Killing me. Usually, I fall asleep after reading mommy's of toddlers blogs (that's because mine has outgrown the stage and if it's not what MY kid is doing, well, who cares, you know?)but I keep reading...and reading...'cause you are amusing and don't take life so seriously...and it all rings true even tho my toddler is long gone...oh, and because i have a brother too. So it all comes together and I think I"ll be back. But I won't stalk. Much.
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You are SERIOUSLY out of control hilarious.
ALSO! It occurred to me after I got home last night and on the computer: we were talking about American Idol, remember? And I was all, "Oh, Kristi... she's a one trick pony," and you were all, "Kristi?" And I was like, "Crazy hand motions, eye thing, Joleen..." and you were like, "Wait, Kristi?" and I was all YES, KRISTI.
No. No, I meant Brooke.
That's been bothering me all day.
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Oh, I SO didn't see that one coming. Kudos to you for the most successful string-along I've read in a hen's age.
Also? Linked via Bossy. And? Should I NOT be ripping those funny tabs offa the books? Oh.
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Nice one Mini. That'll teach the little stinker.
And the little stinker'll teach the teacher to put flappy books in a preschool. Seriously.
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Hi! I just followed Bossy over here.
You are hysterical! I keep trying to stop reading and I can't!!!
Glad I found you! Thanks for the laughs!!
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Hey! Where you been? I miss your funny posts!
By the way, I tagged you, if you have some time:
http://epixstix.blogspot.com/2008/04/getting-to-know-you.html
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