Preschool Play Dates
The most critical thing you need to remember to do in preparation for a play date is to be sure your child is ready to perform on cue. And not like one of those trained monkeys you see on Safari Wiggles. More like a fighter pilot running a well-rehearsed combat mission to rescue millions of helpless refugees, but more important. Not blurting out in the middle of an otherwise perfectly jovial play date, "Joey, what is two plus two?" is akin to admitting your child is average. Is that what you want?
If your child ignores you, gives the wrong answer you rehearsed for three days, or otherwise refuses to cooperate because he fails to understand how important it is for you to win this play date, it's okay to follow-up with a redemption question such as, "Joey, how do you spell your name?" It doesn't matter if he doesn't know what spelling actually is, or even if he can recognize his letters yet. What matters is that you tie your self-esteem and parenting skills into your child’s academic prowess.
You are probably wondering by now what to do in the event your child is (gulp!) average. This touchy situation is best handled by geography.
Move.
When you get settled into your new neighborhood where nobody knows you, whatever you do, DO NOT ENROLL YOUR PRESCHOOLER IN PRESCHOOL! As soon as he is old enough to buy alcohol, enroll him in Pre-K. You are better off explaining the presence of leg hair than trying to excuse the lack of number recognition.
But not my kids. They’re geniuses.
genius A
genius B



Sheri,
Clearly, your two are geniuses!
It's good to see you back blogging - I've missed you!
You're awesome!!!
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So what do you have planned for Friday? My kids are working on their long division.
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Too many playdates are spent comparing milestones.
I have no doubt your kids are geniuses.
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Boy, ur kidz sure is smrts n stuffs.
gud werk momma!
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AHhh they are so cute. My little nieceling is 3.5 years old. She knows her colors, numbers and letters....however at any given moment, she will choose to pretend she doesn't. Imagine how fun it is to explain to a co-worker that your 3.5 year old niece isn't "special", she's just a stubborn ass.
Don't know what orange is...my butt. Bet if the Biotch had asked her if she wanted an orange or green sucker, she'd of suddenly remembered her colors.
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I'm actually glad to know this isn't exclusively a NYC thing.
Then again, we've had like two playdates so what do I know. Yeah, I'm the child abuser mom who's led my kid to believe that "grandma and papa" are her friends.
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You see how you were missed? Uh huh. Whatiditellya? And, I love your playdate observations. I can tell you also live in big city suburbia.
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Welcome back! And I never, ever try to win a playdate. I just let people think my kids are dumb.
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I've never won a playdate either. So I decided to be a sore loser and stopped having them. Luckily, we have friends whose kids are just as smart and pretty as mine. We hang out a lot, and talk about things like stuffing chocolate chips in their noses.
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GOD! It's SO TRUE! It's like a contest between Mothers. This is EXACTLY why I hate playdates.
The frickin PRESSURE OF IT ALL!
I guess you hit a nerve?
Jamie
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What a coin-ky-dink! I'm working on a post right now about a playdate problem I'm having. I'm just afraid to be honest because *gasp* what if the mom involved finds my blog and reads it??
Why are these things so weird sometimes?
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They do look extraordinarily clever. Maybe it's just their dashing head gear.
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Sorry I haven't commented before. My child genius and I were busy disproving quantum physics and scoffing at the simplicity of nuclear physics.
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THANK GOD! I have been back on the blogosphere for a month or so waiting for another installment from you. I've caught up on all that has occured in the mini-van and needed mo! mo! mo!
BTW - headed to the AZ for 10 days on Friday ... how's the weather?
M&M
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My 3 year old appears to be perfectly average and I love that about him! Superior intelligence is highly over rated! He's frickin gorgeous and will one day be a male model anyway!
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My kids? Well, here's hoping.
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Um, I think you should write a disclaimer that you did not steal this idea from my life. They are just really tall, right?
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My children wouldn't perform on cue if someone bribed them with chocolate. Not that I know this from experience or anything.
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OMG! How funny you should post this because just last week we had a playdate with two friends we hadn't seen in a while. One asked if Miss E could spell her name - my response 'No, but she can recognise that it starts with E' - of course her daughter can spell and write her whole name (puke) and the other friend - her kid can TYPE her name on the keyboard.
I've already made the decision not to play this game.
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I love that. We are always teasing our kids about pushing our grandchildren too hard. That is hilarious.
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Ahhh... the plight of the dreaded play date! It was so enlightening to hear that other moms dread this social gathering as well. Thank you!
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