My Brother
I love having this blog, however sporadically I may update it, because I know all of the people reading it can totally relate to me and my experience as a mother. Except for my brother.
Ya know how sometimes your two-year-old insists on using the potty herself and then she falls in? And you’re totally embarrassed because you’re at a playdate with kids who did not fall in the potty? My childless friends (and those who pay attention to their children) just can’t relate..JPG)
(FYI these snazzy Ked’s shoes dry within just hours and hours! It would be speculative to assume the boogers she was picking dried first. But I think they did.)
My brother, lone male reader of minivan, and his lovely wife have seven children. The oldest turned 11 this week and the youngest is three-months-old. Or four months. What am I saying, I have no idea. I don’t even remember the baby’s name. But it might be a girl. Oh, that would be so great. I hope it’s a girl!
Should anything happen to my brother and sister-in-law, Ethan and I would be awarded custody of their children. All seven of them. Even the one who was born sometime last fall and who may or may not be a girl. I feel honored they would choose us to raise their children and feel confident we would not take advantage of the situation by cashing in their life insurance policy, selling their children (but not all of them because remotes can’t pass themselves), and using the money to campaign for low-flow toilets.
Thanks for reading, Bro. Buckle up!
I love the picture. Hey a few boogers never hurt anyone.
Seven is a lot of kids to leave to you. But you could train each of them to do something for you and then you'd have tons of free time.
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You're too funny. And I miss you. Write more often!
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Missed ya! Glad to see you back again.
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The boogers dried faster. Trust me.
Keep posting!
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I think I'm going to bookmark this site since it had all the information I was looking for. Thanks so much to the owner. Look forward to seeing you again sometime.
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Yikes! seven kids? you had better pray for longevity!
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Here's to very long life for your brother and his wife!
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Where have you BEEN, lady? Lolling around on your love mattress? Glad to see you back!
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Babe, where ya been??! MISSED YOU!! And glad, Glad, GLAD you're back.
If I were you, I'd be wrapping that brother and s-i-l up in plastic bubble wrap and hiring a personal security detail for the two of them... Just in case.
SEVEN kids??! Whew!!!!
MISSED YOU (did I mention that??)
xo CGF
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Wow, here's to your brother's health!
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Your brother sounds really, really interesting. More blogging about him, and less about you, would be particularly beneficial to this site. Sounds like an amazing, awesome, incredible, fantastic, guy.
I suggest, in fact, you rename the blog in his honor. What a Man!
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Shouldn't you be tending to one of your seven children right now???
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Oh God, you just reminded me, I have a brother! His name is Steve, no, Shaun, dammit, well, anyway thank God your brother isn't the kind of guy who would post comments anonymously tooting his own horn.
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I came across your blog today and couldn't stop laughing. You are hilarious! Thanks for being such a refreshing blogger!
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Oh you're hilarious (and wise). Can you even IMAGINE inheriting 7 children. I'm totally at capacity with 1. How pathetic is THAT!
*le sigh*
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Wow, my sister better not read this... she's on Baby #4 right now and if she find out that people out there have 7, she's gonna have to see their 7 raise them 8. Oh, boy!
Jane, Pinks & Blues
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So let me get this straight... Your brother? he's as funny as you are?
Holy crap, please, please please adopt me.
I'll even move to the place that think 115 degrees is a mild summer for you.
Or else, I'm happy to pitch in 20 bucks so that you can get a nanny to take care of all those kids so that you can blog more often.
Because seriously, I'm having withdrawals here.
Now quit reading the comments and write your next entry, chop chop!
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You HAVE GOT to start blogging more!! You are freakin hilarious! Maybe your bro should have a blog too!
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Seven children?!
You know, they know what causes that now.
I'm with you in the sporadic club. While everyone else was writing every day for a month a while back, I was working on No-bo-fo-mo-mo, or "No blogging for a month" month.
Solidarity sister! I hope you write more because, selfishly, you make me laugh. But I GET it.
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Seven kids. I would run screaming. So would my boogers.
Miss your posting
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What a great competition to hold. Thanks for keeping us up to date. I just went through some of your previous post....
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I don't know... Seven kids might not be a bad thing: One could dry off the toilet-bather, while another hands you that remote and a third a glass of ice tea, and a fourth could serve as an ottoman, if you don't have one. Then there's snow-shoveling and homework helping and...
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My in-laws would get my kids and I kind of feel sorry for them. Lucky for them I don't have seven!! Of course nothing's going to happen to us, knock on wood.
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Why are you so cruel? You get us all waiting for every post with baited breath and then disappear after making us laugh until we pee a little.
Come to my blog today. Right now. Enter your cleverness to win $100 gift card.
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you were here... and now you're gone again!
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Are you aware that your brother is sending PayPal money to bloggers to encourage you to dedicate your blog to him??
I just received a $14 donation and a plea to pelt you with entreaties to write more about that fascinating man who likes to breed.
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I came across your blog through another and this post really made me laugh! I needed it too!!! Hope you don't mind me lurking around every so often!
~Beth~
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The booger comment took me by surprise in the middle of a drink of coffee. I'll be sending you the computer repair bill and the drycleaning bill. Thanks
If, God forbid, something should happen to your brother and his wife, and you inherit their seven (SEVEN????) kids, I think that TLC should do a show on you all. It would totally kick Jon and Kate plus 8's butt! Dream big!
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seven kids...YIKES.
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Hahah.. that is soooo hilarious.. and what an honor to be asked to do that!
BTW>. tag your it.. check my blog!
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Glad I checked in! I was happy to see new posts from you. Yer so funny! Throw your back out more often, would ya!
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Make sure it's a very large life insurance policy before you agree to anything.
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I was driving my mini-van in the fast lane today going 85... I really felt like I was the fastest mini-van on the road today. My van has a spoiler which makes me look so sexy and cool. Like a mom racer.
Just had to share (brag). Love your blog!
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i think your minivan slows down if your posting slows down too much. better get posting!!! us other minivan-ers need all the humor-help we can get.
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Just wanted to tell you how much I love your blog! YOU know how it is...
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We've got the same exact carseat cover pattern. Two of them, actually. And, my children fall in to toilets all the time.
But if it should happen that you inherit a gaggle of children, you will definitely need a larger van. Because we have a Sienna also and there ain't NO way you're fitting seven children + your own in to it. We can barely squeeze in four. And if you got a larger van, it wouldn't be a minivan, and then you'd have to have a whole new title.
So brother, don't drop off. If for no other reason >> you'll mess with your sister's blog gig.
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I was so thrilled to see a comment from you on my blog!! but disappointed when I came over here to see no new posts. Bummer! when will you write again???
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Thanks for stopping by again. Even if you're not writing, it's nice to see that you are reading! And yes, I am sooooo sick of the snow, I can barely stand it! First weekend in March were coming down to Phoenix to see a Chicago Cubs spring training game (my gift to hubby for Christmas). We cannot wait! We'll soak up some of that sun of yours in a nice hotel pool, hit the zoo, Ikea, Trader Joes...I cannot wait!!
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This = genius: "...and the youngest is three-months-old. Or four months. What am I saying, I have no idea. I don’t even remember the baby’s name. But it might be a girl. Oh, that would be so great. I hope it’s a girl!"
We have five kids, and my childless brother...well, we didn't even ASK if he wanted to inherit them. It would have been funny to see his face, but I would have barfed from laughing so hard, and I dislike barfing.
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