Party And You're All Invited
I have been trying for months now to persuade Bam Bam to watch TV and she absolutely refuses. If she continues on this selfish rampage, I am never going to find time to get dinner ordered.
Bam Bam needs to start thinking of others or I will be forced to play hardball with her and cancel all of the trimmings of her upcoming birthday party. By the time I’m done, it won’t even resemble a typical suburbanite second birthday party. I won’t hesitate to cancel the Navy jetfighter flyover in a Barbie formation, the simulated space rides, and the filet tartare. Gone, gone, and gone.
I am relieved to have Crusher and Bam Bam’s joint birthday party invitations completed and ready to be mailed. It wasn’t very difficult constructing the list of invitees. I decided I would not break tradition and would follow carefully crafted common birthday party etiquette. Therefore, the list of those invited to this combination 2nd/3rd birthday party includes only the following people:
- Everyone we’ve ever met in our entire lives.
- Those people we haven’t met in our entire lives but who know people that we have met in our entire lives.
- Phoebe the Clown.
I really wanted to keep things simple this year, and since the number of people invited to this party is only able to be represented numerically using scientific notation (4.567 x 10 to the 8th power plus Phoebe the Clown), I decided to have the party at the park. It’s inexpensive and perfect for any number of people. I drove over to check-out the ramada we reserved and to discuss with the city the possibility of them building a dome over the park for Crusher and Bam Bam’s birthday party because I really don’t want to have to be stressed about the weather dampening our fun. I didn’t sense the city folks were fully grasping the urgent nature of this situation. Am I being unreasonable? Kidding. Obviously I’m not being unreasonable. That’s why I’ve instructed the Navy to throw a tarp down over the park immediately following the flyover.
Uh oh. Maybe my ex-boyfriends were right. Maybe I am crazy.
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Side note: Bam Bam is two-years-old today. Break a mama’s heart. Happy birthday, Little Girl! Mommy loves you. (Everyone's two-year-old daughters routinely strip and still don't have enough hair for a ponytail, right? Right?!)
Your post is hilarious! It reminds me of how over the top my SIL makes her children's birthday parties. They live in CA and there is a definite "must outdo the Jones" mentality!
Happy 2nd Birthday to your little guy! Mine is turning 3 in late December!
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Okay, so now I feel like the crappiest mum in all of blogging world....plus the real world too!!! For Gozars' second b-day we just filled the room with balloons and let him have at them!!! Ofcourse it makes a difference that we don't live in the same country as family, friends....anyone else on the damn planet....sigh.......ach well, I can just say that I'm saving it all up for his 21st!!
Happy b-day Bam Bam!
xx
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Happy birthday, Bam!
And sweet congratulations to you, mama!
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HAHA! I totally dig your sarcasm
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What kind of mother are you!?! Not having Coco the Dancing Horse?!?! You think that Army jets can make up for that? I think not. I think your children will be having lots to talk about with their therapists when they get older...
Happy Birthday, Bam-Bam!
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Happy Birthday Bam Bam!!!
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Yeah, one of my friends decided it would be easier to have her 2 little boys' combined party at the park. Good thing you live down south. This party was in April, which is usually temperate around here, unless of course you have an outdoor party planned. My main memories of the day consist of sneaking off to the car periodically to thaw my numb feet and helping the birthday boys' grandmother hold down all the tablecloths in the gale force wind. Oh, yes, and my husband was recruited to get rid of the ice on one of the slides.
I guess you just have to worry about people getting heat stroke....
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Hilarious! Happy Birthday to Bam Bam!
I was blessed, Luke was addicted to tv at 9 months! It had to be Sesame Street/ Elmo, but still. My mother was amazed! Or maybe horrified?
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Happy birthday, Bam Bam! Good luck with the party.
And btw, I am thoroughly hooked on your blog so expect me to be making regular visits here. And...yes, you could definitely write a book. You are the funniest mommy blogger I've ever read. Hands down! (Let me know if you need an agent
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Happy Birthday BamBam! And a Barbie flyover? How cheap! Shouldn't she have a Ken escort as well?
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Awwww. Happy Birthday Bam Bam. Hey, think of the stripping as a way to put herself through college.
And, I know my invite is in the mail. I'll just rsvp now.
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Aww, Happy Birthday! And it's a yes for us on both the stripping and no hair - I'm on my 3rd little bald baby girl so far and she's just starting to get a bit of hair at 20 months old...
You are lucky to be able to do parties at a park! With birthdays in late November, January and early April, our options are pretty limited here in the cold, snowy Midwest. We obviously should have planned that better when ttc! LOL
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I actually just came across my son's 2nd b-day party pictures. We literally haven't seen 99% of those people in the past 4 years. (The other 100% we're related to.)
HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!
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Happy Birthday Bam Bam!! They grow up way too fast.
My only girl is 5 months old already! So far, her hair hasn't grown a wink.
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Happy birthday to Bam Bam. Good luck on the party. Clowns are scary.
My niece is three and she still strips whenever she gets the chance.
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I ask you this:
What is worse? A two-year-old who can't wear a pony tail? Or a two-year-old will a mullet?
I rest my case. She's perfect.
Hope her birthday is awesome, suffocating Navy tarp, and all.
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AW!!!
Happy Birthday, Bam Bam!
Happy birth of your baby day, Sheri!
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A second and third birthday and all you can swing is a jet fly over? Come on! At the very least you need some sort of celebrity appearance. A Doodlebop perhaps or a Wiggle?
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Happy, happy belated day, Bam Bam! Don't worry about that hair thing, it'll grow. And when all your hairy ape friends are waxing themselves silly, it'll be your turn to laugh.
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Happy Birthday, Bam Bam! Today is my Hollis's 3rd birthday. You Virgos rock!
Yeah, I here you on city governments not grasping the importance of functions like this. I wanted to bulldoze half an acre of trees behind our house so we'd have room for the flight simulator, but they won't approve our variance. Something about noise and wetlands, blah, blah, blah.
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Oh, yes, my child is almost FOUR and we can still barely keep clothes on her. Drives my older boys batty. And me. Every one of my kids was a streaker. They grow out of it. Or they learn to hide it from mom. Either way, I don't have to see their naked bums anymore.
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Happy Birthday! Forget the park; clearly you need to rent out Disney World. I love your blog's name by the way!
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I laughed out loud at this post. Especially the "how dare she not watch TV so you could order dinner". Genius, I tell you!
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FUNNY POST!!! :o)
And just so you know, the story goes that I was almost three and my mom was still taping bows to my head! So Bam Bam still has some time to catch up with me...lol!!!
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Like I've said before, any girl who strips is Little Man's type. And as long as she ain't bald, he's happy.
But in all seriousness, if there's not going to be filet tartare there, we won't be coming. I mean, we have standards there.
Also, should we get your kids a lion cub or a python as a gift? I figure the lion could feed off the party leftovers. And the python would prevent mice problems in your house, in a completely organic fashion.
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I am stressing over Jayke's 3rd birhtday right now and it isn't even until January! I like to plan ahead.
Happy birthday Bam Bam! Sounds like you will have a great party!
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Happy Birthday! I'm the middle of planning 2 birthday parties myself - Abby turns 6 next week and Emily in 3 weeks. You're luck you can combine parties - Abby will have nothing to do with that! Oh, and I'll be there for the Barbie formation fly over - although I was hoping for more from you! : )
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Happy Birthday Bam-Bam! Your mommy is so talented that I'm thinking of getting out of the blogger business and just start her fan club.
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Great post! I too tried my best to not go "overboard" this year. Funny, my version of overboard and everyone else's differs immensely. Go figure.
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Happy Birthday Bam-Bam!!!
For the second time today, I have to say: All of the best people are having birthdays this month!!!!
And good luck on the party. Punkin's (in August) just about killed me. And we didn't even have to use scientific notation to count the invitees!!!
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Happy birthday to the short-haired, naked little two year old, from her virtual short-haired, naked little two year old friend in New York. If she doesn't cry with the clown...let me know. At some point I'm going to have to break down and throw a party beyond "let's have a cupcake at grandma's."
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My daughter turned 2 last month. She has a little bit of a comb-over, but I scrape those three hairs into ponytails anyway.
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YoU aReN't HaViNg A pEtTiNg ZoO oR bOuNcE hOuSe? What kind of suburbanite are you? HAHA So glad you're back. Hope you had a great New Year.
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my oldest daughter had no hair until she was over 2. come to think of it, i had no hair until i was over 2. and the nekkedness? yeah, we've got that over here too.
happy birthday to your girlie. although, i'm quite disappointed to have not received an invitation to your party, considering the fact that this is my first trip to your blog. ;-D
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As a mother of a girl a year older than her brother I am here to tell you to enjoy those combined birthday parties while you can! Because eventually one of them is going to refuse to have a party with the other and suddenly your birthday party costs double. Not so fun.
Oh and I am also the mother of a 2 year old who strips and did not have hair long enough for a ponytail until she was well past 2. You're not alone!
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Ok I will tell you right now...that my oldest daughter was the same way...no hair forever..and alway liked to be naked the best. And of course my one and only son...had the most hair...God can be cruel sometimes...either that or he just likes a damn good laugh!
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I hope Bam Bam had a fabulous 2nd birthday! Next year you just have to rent out a stadium (just make sure it's an "off" day for the Cardinals) and you'll be all set! Not over-the-top AT ALL!
Jane, Pinks & Blues
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Oh my goodness! Very funny this is ... very funny. Happy Birthday, Bam Bam!
Still laughing ...
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Awwww... cute. I also just reserved a park for my daughters bday party.. good idea about the navy... i might have to see if i can get one to help at www.rentanavyteamforobsurdreasons.com hahahha
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Hey Sheri!!
I didn't know Alex and Bam were so close in age! Alex turns 2 on the 28th! Our joint (not to be confused with any smoking) party is the 29th. And my guest list sounds just like yours.
We are now getting ready this week. William's b-day is the 25th.
- Audrey
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What?!? Navy flyover? you must be able to do better than this! Let me give you a couple of pointers---
A Teletubbies appearance.
An 18 layer cake.
Pony rides.
Helicopter rides.
A talent show.
Six changes of clothes (each).
The Wiggles performing.
A dolphin show.
Oh, and lots of alcohol. Lots. For you, that is.
Good luck and happy birthday to both!
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Happy Birthday. Maybe after the dome is complete they can construct a beach in case the weather is warm.
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Happy Birthday Little Lady!
I'm sure I already know the answer to this is yes but just to be sure, you will be supplying airfare for my family to attend this birthday bash right? Thanks!
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Sounds like you graduated from the Worker Mommy school of children's birthday parties.
Happy Happy to Bam Bam. Hope the good times roll!
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I'd love to sit in on THAT city council meeting.
And if it makes you feel any better, my 5-year old still strips routinely (in public) and does have hair enough for a ponytail.
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I so love the intro to this post. Hilarious!
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Happy Birthday to Bam Bam.
The party thing can get a little out of control can't it?! Mine are finally getting more simple as the kids get older. In least in terms of people invited. Not in terms of the actual party God forbid. The Barbie flyover sounds great, I wonder if they allow that at "My Party Princess" where my 5 year old Diva will be holding her celebration this year. Hmmmmmmmm the possibilities are endless.
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Happy Belated Birthday Bam Bam!
And yes, my two-year-old daughters have nowhere near enough hair for a ponytail, and they consider all events clothing optional.
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Why have I never read your blog before? I didn't know what I was missing. This was hysterical! I'll be back.
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