Party And You're All Invited
I have been trying for months now to persuade Bam Bam to watch TV and she absolutely refuses. If she continues on this selfish rampage, I am never going to find time to get dinner ordered.
Bam Bam needs to start thinking of others or I will be forced to play hardball with her and cancel all of the trimmings of her upcoming birthday party. By the time I’m done, it won’t even resemble a typical suburbanite second birthday party. I won’t hesitate to cancel the Navy jetfighter flyover in a Barbie formation, the simulated space rides, and the filet tartare. Gone, gone, and gone.
I am relieved to have Crusher and Bam Bam’s joint birthday party invitations completed and ready to be mailed. It wasn’t very difficult constructing the list of invitees. I decided I would not break tradition and would follow carefully crafted common birthday party etiquette. Therefore, the list of those invited to this combination 2nd/3rd birthday party includes only the following people:
- Everyone we’ve ever met in our entire lives.
- Those people we haven’t met in our entire lives but who know people that we have met in our entire lives.
- Phoebe the Clown.
I really wanted to keep things simple this year, and since the number of people invited to this party is only able to be represented numerically using scientific notation (4.567 x 10 to the 8th power plus Phoebe the Clown), I decided to have the party at the park. It’s inexpensive and perfect for any number of people. I drove over to check-out the ramada we reserved and to discuss with the city the possibility of them building a dome over the park for Crusher and Bam Bam’s birthday party because I really don’t want to have to be stressed about the weather dampening our fun. I didn’t sense the city folks were fully grasping the urgent nature of this situation. Am I being unreasonable? Kidding. Obviously I’m not being unreasonable. That’s why I’ve instructed the Navy to throw a tarp down over the park immediately following the flyover.
Uh oh. Maybe my ex-boyfriends were right. Maybe I am crazy.
Side note: Bam Bam is two-years-old today. Break a mama’s heart. Happy birthday, Little Girl! Mommy loves you. (Everyone's two-year-old daughters routinely strip and still don't have enough hair for a ponytail, right? Right?!)