Party And You're All Invited

I have been trying for months now to persuade Bam Bam to watch TV and she absolutely refuses.  If she continues on this selfish rampage, I am never going to find time to get dinner ordered.
Bam Bam needs to start thinking of others or I will be forced to play hardball with her and cancel all of the trimmings of her upcoming birthday party.  By the time I’m done, it won’t even resemble a typical suburbanite second birthday party.  I won’t hesitate to cancel the Navy jetfighter flyover in a Barbie formation, the simulated space rides, and the filet tartare.  Gone, gone, and gone. 

I am relieved to have Crusher and Bam Bam’s joint birthday party invitations completed and ready to be mailed.  It wasn’t very difficult constructing the list of invitees.  I decided I would not break tradition and would follow carefully crafted common birthday party etiquette.  Therefore, the list of those invited to this combination 2nd/3rd birthday party includes only the following people:
  • Everyone we’ve ever met in our entire lives.
  • Those people we haven’t met in our entire lives but who know people that we have met in our entire lives.
  • Phoebe the Clown.
I really wanted to keep things simple this year, and since the number of people invited to this party is only able to be represented numerically using scientific notation (4.567 x 10 to the 8th power plus Phoebe the Clown), I decided to have the party at the park.  It’s inexpensive and perfect for any number of people.  I drove over to check-out the ramada we reserved and to discuss with the city the possibility of them building a dome over the park for Crusher and Bam Bam’s birthday party because I really don’t want to have to be stressed about the weather dampening our fun.  I didn’t sense the city folks were fully grasping the urgent nature of this situation.  Am I being unreasonable?  Kidding.  Obviously I’m not being unreasonable.  That’s why I’ve instructed the Navy to throw a tarp down over the park immediately following the flyover.

Uh oh.  Maybe my ex-boyfriends were right.  Maybe I am crazy.

Side note: Bam Bam is two-years-old today.  Break a mama’s heart.  Happy birthday, Little Girl!  Mommy loves you. (Everyone's two-year-old daughters routinely strip and still don't have enough hair for a ponytail, right?  Right?!)


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