A CALL TO ACTION
THIS IS A CALL TO ACTION!
Our Little Green Steam Machine has died!
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Crusher threw-up all over his most adorable Pottery Barn Kids over commercialized, "If I don't have this rug I'll die" rug, and the Little Green Machine lost her steam. Fortunately, Crusher had only eaten 40,000 blueberries washed down with purple Dimetapp prior to launch, so as you can imagine, the rug is now in a better place.
Crusher threw-up all over his most adorable Pottery Barn Kids over commercialized, "If I don't have this rug I'll die" rug, and the Little Green Machine lost her steam. Fortunately, Crusher had only eaten 40,000 blueberries washed down with purple Dimetapp prior to launch, so as you can imagine, the rug is now in a better place.
This is such a vivid example of how bad things happen to good people. But not so fast. Maybe I'm not so good after all. Maybe my carpet cleaner died because of that time in the sixth grade I made fun of Sandi Rosenbooger. No, that wasn't her name. It was Sandi Rosenass. No, that's not nice. It was Rosenberg. Sandi bandi bo bandi, banana fana fo fanny, Sandi Rosenberg. That was it. The bitch.
If all of this wasn't bad enough, and I think we can all agree it was, this morning I pulled out of the driveway to discover this:
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The rug had been laid to rest. Ethan took it out with the trash this morning and had discreetly tried to hide it beneath the cover, clearly to spare me the emotional trauma of having to say good-bye to my beloved. Thanks, Ethan. Thanks, rug. You will be missed forevermore. You have left a big gaping hole in my heart, and on my son's floor:
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Sometimes life hands us lemons, and we make lemonade. Sometimes it hands up blueberries marinated in Dimetapp, and we make a plea on our blog for the names of new and improved portable carpet cleaners. Evolution, it's the darndest thing. First opposable thumbs, now this.
If all of this wasn't bad enough, and I think we can all agree it was, this morning I pulled out of the driveway to discover this:
The rug had been laid to rest. Ethan took it out with the trash this morning and had discreetly tried to hide it beneath the cover, clearly to spare me the emotional trauma of having to say good-bye to my beloved. Thanks, Ethan. Thanks, rug. You will be missed forevermore. You have left a big gaping hole in my heart, and on my son's floor:
Sometimes life hands us lemons, and we make lemonade. Sometimes it hands up blueberries marinated in Dimetapp, and we make a plea on our blog for the names of new and improved portable carpet cleaners. Evolution, it's the darndest thing. First opposable thumbs, now this.



You have my deepest sympathies on the P.B. Rug. Mine was also felled by child vomit, but way back in 2003. I have no advice on cleaning, because I just do my part to keep PB in business buying new ones: 2004's rug was killed by cat hurling, 2005's by the move - it no longer matched, 2006's, by some miracle, we still have...
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Let me introduce you to my close friend, eBay...
Surely some mom whose child is deathly allergic to any colored food has a PBK rug she no longer needs that is in pristine condition...
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Karma's a bitch, isn't it? Not unlike Sandi Rosenberg. Now you'll just have to save up to get another Pottery Barn rug. By that time, you'll be shopping for Crusher's dorm room.
Jane, Pinks & Blues Girls
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I have no clue for the best steam cleaner, but when you find out, let me know.
The cat puke....the dog puke.....
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You never should have made fun of Sandi Rosenberg.
I participated in calling Andrew Maule "Mauleyburger" in public school, and now I have a prolapsed uterus. I'm sure the two are related.
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I think I must have made fun or more than one Sandi Rosenberg in school because I actually bought a steam cleaner from Sam's
Club a few years ago to deal with cat and dog vomit, pee, you name it and the stupid thing leaks all over the place now. So if my kids through up blueberries and Dimetapp, I'm out the pottery barn rug and the money I spent on the steamer
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Blueberries marinated in dimetapp...and stomach acid. The image I conjur of that pile of puke makes ME want to puke!
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We've got some Hoover brand steam cleaner - it works really well but is about 10 years old. It's a big one - nice a nice compact size like yours.
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There must be some sort of appliance virus going around. I recently had to toss my my toaster and coffeemaker.
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I believe the saying is "When life hands you lemons, ask for tequila and salt; then call me over!"
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Well, can't offer you advice on a steam cleaner, but I can say that you inspired me to go buy a wee dust buster......maybe in another 4 years I'll have a really good steam cleaner and can offer you a wee loan of it.........
until then, you have my sympathies my friend. May the wee steamy thing AND the rug go onto the big and comfortable and not dirty in any way....'old appliances home' in the sky!
xx
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You mean you can clean carpets?
Information that would have been useful 6 carpets ago. Thanks!
And yeah! Your back! Missed you!
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I hear Tar-zhay has some nice barfable rugs....
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Dang! Too funny, first of all. And, I'm so glad to know that I'm not the only mom on earth to lose a great rug to barfsville! I just can't believe you had a cleaning system for this in the first place. I might have to get one of those things. DH was just saying he wanted one. No help here, but LOL!!
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How completely disheveled your life must be right now..no rug...no carpet cleaner..how ever will you go on...Get wood floors like me...then you don't have to deal with either
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I have NEVER made fun of any other child (Stevie "Eats his boogers" McClearnan) - so, yeah, karma. Hey, I'm a renter - that big red steamer at the grocery store gets hauled in our station wagon every six months for some back braking fun at our house! Wooo HOOO! We're wild and crazy cleaners.
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One word:
Linoleum.
Preferably barf-coloured (you know, MULTI-COLOURED).
Ugly as sin, but it SAVES. MY. ASS.
Just until the kids grow up and (hopefully) leave home.
And then, I'm investing in the most beee-yoootiful silk rugs I can get my hands on.
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I am notorious for throwing out stuff the kids 'mess' up. I didn't realize cleaning was in my job description. Very important to read the fine print!
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Ugh. I'm eager to hear the suggestions too. You have no idea what cat puke has done to my own treasured Pottery Barn dining room rug. It's not pretty.
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You're better than me. I haven't steamed cleaned the boys rugs since we got them. Yes, a year ago. So gross. I'm a pig!
That sucks about the blueberries and medicine. You made me laugh when I saw the rug outside, even I felt bad for it. And you have made me want to go get a steam cleaner.
- Audrey
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Oh, dear. I agree with Catwoman. Check out Ebay. Or, and this might also work, convince your hubby it's time for Crusher to upgrade to smart, sophisticated, toddler room. PBK of course.
RIP Steam Machine. RIP newly purple rug.
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I was there to witness the unfortunate Blueberries and Dimetapp incident. After witnessing the attempted clean up, an immediate memo was sent out to all Pottery Barns nationwide, and then flags were flown at half mass for their fallen soldier. RIP cute rug!!
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Courtney, thanks for sticking up for the most cute rug ever! (FYI Courtney is our babysitter who was here helping last week when both kids were sick. She witnessed "the launch" then ran for her life. Who could blame a girl?!)
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We lost my favorite bathmat ("Peach" the starfish from the movie "Finding Nemo") to a similar child vomiting incident. Off to the great trashcan in the sky. Sigh. Although, being starfish-shaped, it never was a very good bathmat. You had to stand sort of pigeon-toed when you got out of the shower.
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Blueberries and Dimetapp? Wow, that's vivid. Poor rug never stood a chance. RIP PBK rug. You served well.
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My god, what were the chances of him yakking with that in his stomach? It couldn't have been a nice white meal, like mac and cheese with white cheddar, hmmmm....so sorry about the rug.
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Guaranteed: Your Blueberry/Dimetapp design will be featured in tomorrow's Crate And Barrel catalogue.
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My suggestion is to get a dog. Our's always, always, very thoroughly cleans up my children's puke. It's lovely. Really it is.
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Oh, I'm sorry to hear of the demise of your P.B. rug. You can always buy a new one, right?
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I agree with Shannon. I'm guessing blueberries alone would have done the poor rug in. And Kristi B's comment will never leave my mind. Ever.
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My mother has never forgiven the nurse who gave grape juice to my little sister following surgery at age 2. She promptly barfed it everywhere, included all of her bandages.
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I can't tell you how sorry I am for your loss or both the cleaner and the over priced rug. It makes one question our motives, buying a child who will vomit everywhere else but the commode expensive things for them to throw up on doesn't it?
I can only offer you my condolensces as my steam cleaner, although ancient, is still going strong. We are going through an illness currently though so if you find something good, I might need you to tell me about it. Good luck on your search!
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I need one of those cleaners. Sucks about your rug. But you know, Pottery Barn Kids probably has more cute overpriced rugs.
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Why don't the kids throw up on the cheap Target rugs?? WHY? My kids, my dog, the cat - all on something from Pottery Barn over here, too.
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The upgrade for your cleaner is the Bissel Spot Bot. It's the lazy mom's carpet cleaner! Turn it on,set it, and let it go. No work on your part required! RIP PBK rug, how sad to see you go.
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I just removed my son's rug a couple of weeks ago. Too many spills, was just starting to look nasty.
I've heard the SpotBot is good, but I've never tried it. I may need to get one too.
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I'm really worried about that exposed white rug now. Better get something to cover it up. 10-9-8-7....
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