If I Have To Put My Drink Down One More Time! (Page 1)
I am not a doctor or a nurse. In fact, I barely even passed biology in the 10th grade. Although that wasn’t entirely my fault because Mr. Kantakis spit when he talked so I had to sit in the back of the room, and everyone knows it’s harder to dissect a fetal pig in the back of the room. However, I have been to the doctor’s office before, and there was a nurse there, so when I discuss medical issues you can feel pretty confident they’re based on facts. Or they’re based on an episode of The Facts of Life, but for sure one of the two. As the mother of a premature child, born at 32 weeks, I have acquired experience and information the tax paying public should be aware of. First of all, they should be aware their taxes are due on April 15th. Secondly, they should be aware that nothing will get them better service anywhere than running through the halls of a hospital yelling, “Thirty-two weeks! Thirty-two weeks!” By the swift attention I received you would’ve thought I said, “Hurry! I just rented 9 ½ Weeks!”
My son, Crusher, was born very unexpectedly during the 2004 World Series, the first one the Boston Red Sox won since David slew Goliath with a fastball high and inside. So as you can see, World Series cause prematurity.
Crusher is now almost three-years-old and we’re very fortunate he’s as healthy as a horse. It helps that he’s got such a great vet.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------I’ve decided to start rambling on and on in some sort of sequential order beginning with Crusher's birth. Except for on days when I decide to ramble out of order. Entries titled “If I Have To Put My Drink Down One More Time!” are part of my little writing project to help keep me entertained. It’s satirical. It’s only based on truth. In real life, I’ve killed far fewer people. I’m so excited about making fun of my kids in chronological order that I’ve even started a "If I Have To Put My Drink Down One More Time!” link in the column on the left where all of these entries will be posted in order. Some people would’ve been able to figure out how to do that in less than three hours. Some people are losers.
Crusher is now almost three-years-old and we’re very fortunate he’s as healthy as a horse. It helps that he’s got such a great vet.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------I’ve decided to start rambling on and on in some sort of sequential order beginning with Crusher's birth. Except for on days when I decide to ramble out of order. Entries titled “If I Have To Put My Drink Down One More Time!” are part of my little writing project to help keep me entertained. It’s satirical. It’s only based on truth. In real life, I’ve killed far fewer people. I’m so excited about making fun of my kids in chronological order that I’ve even started a "If I Have To Put My Drink Down One More Time!” link in the column on the left where all of these entries will be posted in order. Some people would’ve been able to figure out how to do that in less than three hours. Some people are losers.



Yes, some people are losers. The rest of us have better things to do than be good at this computer stuff. And as soon as I figure out what those are, I'll let you know.
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I like your rambling idea! I think it's great! And figuring out computer stuff? That's why I got married, so I can just say "Help me, Honey, Help me!!"
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LMAo.. i totally agree.. after all three hours?? I've been bloging for how long and just TODAY realized how to put a pic in my blog... you know.. click the little button.
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Computer stuff will come ... It is part of the reason I started blogging, to jog the brain a little after playing with Little People for hours and hours.
Rambling is good.
hmm Can't seem to leave my url ....haha!
it is I from soodz.com/blog
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Hey there,
Your link is always bad when you comment on my blog. I had to Google your blog name to find you. Can you please leave an email in my comments section for the giveaway? Thanks! And, thanks for reading and saying nice things. : )
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Your blog is a riot! I love it. Thank you for visiting mine, and I am so glad to have found yours.
We have the birthday dilemma here, too. My son will turn one this year - so he's getting the big bash, and his sister will have a smaller lunch with friends - after this year - I'll be all about the joint celebration!
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I know I can always visit your blog for a laugh on days when I really need one.
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Hi hun. I LOVE the idea of the rambling in sequential order, it's a cracking way of keeping track of all the fabulous and totally insane things that have happened in a life! Can't wait to get more of a peek into your life.....did I tell you I was a nosey git???!!!!
Excellent idea sweetie....and btw, FABULOUS title! x
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OMG I can't wait! Hurry, write more!
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You crack me up.
(BTW, I was a preemie, too -- born at 30 weeks.)
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"If I have to put my drink down one more time"
Classic!
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Can you just send me the entire book to me now to devour? What with me being a Facebook friend and all and only slightly stalkerish?
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I think your book sounds inspired. You brought up memories of Madeline, my own fetal pig...why my best friend decided to name ours right before we had to cut her open is beyond me.
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What is with science teachers and spit? Mr. Carlstrom, we called him Mr. Curly Sperm, he had spit in the middle of his lips. It was gross. I had to sit in the back to get away from it, too.
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Can't wait to read more rambling.
My chemistry teacher was a spitter. Perhaps that explains things....
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As a New Englander, I can tell you this... had Crusher been born in a hospital here during that World Series, he would probably still be considered a good luck charm and worshiped by our people. We take our Sox seriously!
Jane, P&B Girls
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Three hours sounds good to me. It took me days to figure out how to put a link on.
By the way, I know tons of medical crap that I'll tell anyone on a moments notice....and it all comes from years of watching ER, Grey's and Trauma in the ER.
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I'm already in love with this series. (And Henry was a preemie, too--also like the proverbial horse, now, too!)
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Ha! I have you beat, my Taylor was born at 24 weeks!! Not to act like this wasnt hugely dramatic to me, I just love your blog and am glad I finally have s o m e t h i n g to one-up you on.
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My son was born at that time too! In NYC... we're HUGE RED SOX fans... so as you can imagine, I was afraid they would mix my son up at the hospital b/c everyone was a YANKEE FAN!!!
I'm so glad you have a healthy baby... well, toddler!!!!
- Audrey
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i like the idea of the rambling and keeping in order, it could turn into a short story, novel or magazine article !! thanks for the comment ..re quote, i too am SCARED to think that she takes in my every move, b/c btw my cursing, FITS and various other grumpiness i am terrified of what i do to her.
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What a great post and a great idea! I will have to catch up on all them later!
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I really don't have anything witty to say, but you are seriously funny. I can't wait to read it.
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I've been kinda down lately. I'm kicking myself now for not visiting your blog sooner because you made me laugh. Thanks for that!
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I hope you get published with these ramblings. You are quite the little entertainer. I love reading your stuff. Keep it coming I am definitely onboard!
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Oooh, I can definitely relate to the racing through the halls thing. I'll never forget when we (finally) realized my water had broken at 31 weeks (the Peanut was born at 32 weeks). It's amazing how quickly people can get moving, eh?
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