My Kids Are Two Generations Younger Than Me
I get more done in three days than most people do by 8 am.
Our new, decidedly unproductive pace can be directly attributed to Bam Bam, who at almost two-years-old now throws a fit and demands to walk should I dare try to carry her bad self when we're out and about. I'm pretty excited about her newfound independence and enjoy our enviable, relaxed pace. It's so great to have this special time together. Our strolls make it feel as though time is standing still. So now I’m 80 and we’re almost halfway to the car.
I’m not really 80.
However, this is the year my sister 17 months my senior will turn 40, my younger brother and his wife will welcome their seventh child, and I will celebrate my 20 year high school reunion. Drunk. It's also the year I downloaded “It's a Small World” on my iPod, but that's neither here nor there.
Having had my kids at the advanced maternal ages of 35 and 36 respectively, I realize I am an “older mom.” I haven't taken the time to do the math yet, but my current plans involve going straight from Bam Bam's high school graduation to the nursing home. And not that nursery home with the cat who comes to visit you right before you die. I prefer a little more dignity than that. Because remember everybody, there is just one moon and one golden sun, and a smile means friendship to everyone...
You are speaking my language, girl. Brother walks so slow that it takes us 7.6 hours just to get to the car from the house. A total of 50 feet. But, should I ever get the grand notion to pick that boy up and help him along, there's hell to pay.
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S~
I too am an older mom - 35, 37 and 39. Dang I'm tired just thinking about it! I can't blame a toddler for my slowness.
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My toddler just entered that "My do it!" walking stage. Seriously? I welcome the pace after years of sprinting to keep up with the older two. Unless, of course, I have to pee. Then all bets are off.
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And then, it changes. And you suddenly realize that your baby is going to be 16. Not that they get any faster (unless, of course, it's something that they want to do).
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Older than you. And you know the bad part... you start off annoyed that they're so slow... but then they get fast. They run. You have to chase. Need I say more.
(I'm a bit worried for you - with the It's a Small World thing & all...)
Go Tigers!
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Found you through Lawyer Mama, what a riot your blog is, thanks for the laughs!
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My husband is 10 years older than me (I'm 26, so I think you can handle the math), and tells me we should start thinking about having kids now before the time comes when he'll be 80 by the time they graduate high school (did that sentence make any sense?). Anyway, I don't consider you an older mom. Kurt Douglas having a child at 62? That's old.
Oh, and that cat works his "magic" in a nursing home about 15 minutes down the street from us!
Jane, P&B Girls
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Damn, you are not old. 40 is the new 30, haven't you heard? So you were actually 25 & 26 when you popped out those kidlets.
That's my story and I'm sticking to it. Even though I'll be funding my retirement *and* two college tuitions at the same time.
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Oh, I think 80 is the new 30! Wouldn't that be a scream! As a grandma, I am happy to just be able to lift the grandkids into the car and figure out how to click the grandkids into car seats!
Sharon - Pinks & Blues Girls
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I'm an older mom too. 36 and 38 respectively when I had my girls. I feel so out of it when I go to a mom's group. Everyone there is in their 20s and I'm in my 40s. No wonder I feel so out of place. My girls are only in the slow stage when it's time to get ready to go somewhere. When we're out, they're at top speed and I have to give chase. I'm thinking of hobbling them.
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If I were in the old farts home and that cat came to visit me- I would have a stroke!
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i can't wait to go to that nursing home...man i need a break. I raise 5 boys do day care and work on the weekends give me a visiting cat...lol.But you know what i wouldn't trade this crazy life for anything...well amybe just the ex husbands!!
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Okay - that makes me an older mom, too, I guess. And I had to laugh because I am reaaaaally slow today and it took me a couple of reads to get your first sentence. Ohhhhh. So don't feel badly - you're sharper than at least one other older mama
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Ok, you are NOT old cause if YOU are old, then I'm ancient (by a couple of years anyway..)
I am a very fast walker/traveler and I make my son suck it up. Of course, he is 12, so he CAN keep up - haha.
And yea, I heard about that nursing home cat. Creepy.
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35's the new 25, don't you know? It's a Small World was my favorite as a kid; I think I rode that ride about 100 times.
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I didn't think I could like you more, until I realized that we're practically the same age! LOVE. YOU.
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Lol.....seriously, reading your blog is becoming a health hazard....I just choked on my tea because I was laughing so hard (it was the dead-panned line:
"Our strolls make it feel as though time is standing still. So now I’m 80 and we’re almost halfway to the car."
That did it!!!!
I know how you feel....although my slowness is due to Gozar having to stop EVERY SECOND to check a new leaf, twig...SPOT OF NOTHING on the pavement....yeesh!
As for the age thing....hell, my friend who until recently lived only an hour from where I am, was 39 with 2 kids under 5 and I remember being really jealous of the whole maturity thing (when my son sticks out his tongue at me...I blow him a raspberry....not so mature)when I first met her (2 yrs ago).
Brilliant post hun!!!!!
Keep 'em coming.....but please put a health warning at top along the lines of "you may find that this post will make you laugh, it would be advisable to put down any drink/food you are consuming presently to avoid possible choking and/or juice squirting out your nose!!!!"
xx
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Of course that makes my day! (Adding me to your reader.) And you are in mine as well!
Look how young we are, talking feed readers here!
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When my mother was my age I was in high school and my brother was out of the house. My youngest started first grade this year. My mother is in her 50's now and enjoying the good life and 7 grandchildren. Sometimes I think she may have had the right idea.
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Why don't you and I share a room at the nursery home and get sloshed on tequila and Metamucil every night? We'll get a doberman to ensure that cat never enters our room and dance to 80's music in nothing but our Depends as our boobies flap in the wind.
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I work in an ER.
I once had an elderly patient come in after a fall.
The bigger story: it was his birthday, he got drunk, wrecked his scooter & fell off the scooter in the wreck.
I want to me adventurous like that when I get old.
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HEY! What's this about being an older mom? I'm "celebrating" my 20th year reunion next year! Of course, I'm also planning it...so anyone under 150 pounds and boobs bigger than mine (not too hard) will be turned away at the door.
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Ahhh...older moms have their advantages too...I am on the other side of the tracks..I decided to have kids young...my first at 21 and then proceed to have three kids...in about 4 years....wow I am insane!
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Kids make you feel old, no matter when you have them. And teenagers make you feel worse. Check out my blog if you don't believe me. Enjoyed your musings, though it took me a couple of tries to "get" your first sentence also. My brain cells are all evaporating.
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I have decided when you have kids you automatically add 5 years to your age. If you are 22 you feel 27, etc.
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Uh, if Oscar were a HUMAN, he'd be nicknamed "Dr. Death" and would be thrown in jail. Has no one at the nursing home considered that what initially seemed uncanny may, in the end, be termed suffocation-by-cat? Just thinking out loud over here.
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Older? HA! I didn't become PunditGirl's mom until I was 42! You're still a young-in'!
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OMG! I read about that cat too. Too spooky.
I'm 42 but my kids are older then yours but still move WAY too slow. It helps if you buy a cattle prod. But wait until they're 6 or so to use it on them....
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Thank goodness I park in the garage or we'd never get there! When we go home to Ohio I am an old maid with a 3 & 6 year old at 38! Thankfully around here I am average--never thought I'd want to be average
Thanks for commenting over at MamaMaven, I'll definitely be back!
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Hi, I just stumbled across your site and felt the need to comment on this entry.
My parents were 38 and 39 when I was born, and I am an only child. My mom waited her whole life to have me, and it's safe to say I am her world.
While growing up, yeah i dealt with the surprise of friends when explaining that my parents were from a completely dif generation than my friends' parents. and that i was raised with seemingly more "old-fashioned" values than most. and no, i was not emotionally scarred for life that i couldn't wear nude pantyhose until 6th grade because really, you know, not that i remember that "law" or anything...but really? i must say- i wouldn't change it for anything in the world.
to this day, they are my BEST friends. they are my rock. and many of my friends often comment on how they are jealous of my relationship with my parents- hell, they're even friends with my friends. seriously, some of my friends have been known to drunkdial my parents at 3am because they wanted to say hello! damnit! (True story- and surprisingly, my parents just loved it, because they are bombass about that.) ok. where was i, aside from writing the longest comment ever.
moral of the story: it doesn't matter how many years are between you and your children- just be the amazing mom you know how to be, and your mother/son relationships will thrive. And someday, your son could be the one writing a blog comment like this.
hope you are enjoying your weekend.
xo, bb
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I'm 30 and haven't yet decided whether to have kids.
A good friend of mine, though, had her son at 40 [he's 3 now] and wants to make a sibling if possible...not sure how relevant this is for you, other than to say there are folks older than you having kids. ;p
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Hello from a fellow Phoenix area (east valley) mom. They gave me that "advanced maternal age" stuff too, when I turned 35 before daughter #3 was born. I turned 40 this year (gulp), and will also be most likely going right from the high school graduation to the nursing home. (Ok, I'll be 53 when she graduates high school, but I figure that living with her for 18 years will drive me to an early grave.) Just for fun, I have a teen and a pre-teen too. Anyhoo, I just wanted to tell you that I'm enjoying your blog!
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