Wanna Drag?

Posted by Sheri at 8/2/2007 7:24 AM
Categories: uncategorized


I have made a decision that may not go over well with my family, but I think from time to time we all need to stand up and be counted.  I feel pretty strongly this is my chance to truly make a difference and give back.  I have a degree in psychology, I practically passed all of my statistics courses, so now I’m going to use my overpriced education for the greater good and hope the legacy I leave behind serves the community for generations to come.

I have dutifully decided to dedicate my life to a longitudinal study I’m conducting to try and determine why people find it implicitly necessary to cut-off minivans. 

My study will explore the following areas:
  •   Does the 102-year-old lady driving the 1975 Cadillac El Dorado think if she doesn’t pull out right in front of the minivan it might hamper her ambitious highway cruising speed of 38?

 

  • If a minivan is adorned with spinners, pinstripes, and a “If this van’s a rockin’ don’t come a knockin’” bumper sticker would it get more respect on the road?

 

  • Has it ever occurred to rambunctious SUV drivers that if they were to cause an accident with a minivan that the colored goldfish marinated in sour milk could potentially become lethal shrapnel?

 

  • Is there ever not an assumption by sedan drivers that the minivan driver’s life is a tragic epic of poor choices leading to her current state of vehicular affairs?

While researching my study, I came across the following quote from the National Highway Traffic Safety Administration:  “People most as risk of being thrown through the open sliding door of a minivan in an accident are children.” 

Just out of curiosity, is anyone besides children routinely occupying the Honda Odysseys of the world?  If only we were able to unlock the secret as to how heads of state are securing themselves in the backseats of minivans.


 

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