.JPG)
You're in Time Out, Okay?
I have taken parenting classes in the past (for the record, not court appointed), and the nurse who taught a recent class suggested we never count to three to our children as a warning preceding a time-out. She said if you get in the habit of doing that, your child will know he always has until three and will not do what is requested of him until you get to three. “So?” I thought. “If he abides every time I count to three, it's worth it.” This strategy has served me well. While Crusher has served hard time for numerous infractions (including, but not limited to, grand larceny and perjury), as of yet whenever I’ve used the counting method he has not stalled so long as to earn a time-out.
For example, “Crusher, get in your car seat or you're in time-out! One, two, two-and-a-half, two-and-three-quarters.....(four hours later), two-and-ninety-nine one-hundredths, THREE! I said THREE! Crusher, did you not hear me? I said THREE! Okay, you're in time-out RIGHT NOW! (Slowly begins ascension into car seat).” Please notify me if you'd like me to come and teach a parenting class in your local community. I said notify me! ONE, TWO...
(Side note: I know this was a brief entry, but I need to go and change Bam Bam's diaper and dress her for preschool now, shoes and all. In preparation for this laborious task, I have lined-up all necessary supplies: bulldozer, forklift, duct tape (four rolls), the Army National Guard, and a lollipop- the prize for the winner of the event.)
(Side note on the other side: The tractor is to clear a ½ acre of dry land in preparation for this task. This dimension is determined by Bam Bam’s width multiplied by the number of times she rolls over during the activity, approximately 15,000.)
There is no way you need four rolls of duct tape. I don't think those rolls end. I swear I've had the same one for ten years and I use it for everything. What are you feeding that kid?
Reply to this
Yeah, counting doesn't work so well for me either. Getting to three is such a chore!
Reply to this
Ok, the counting thing has ALWAYS been my most effective parenting tool ... but then again my kids do fear the beatings with wed noodles after I reach three. And there are no halves, no quarters ... just 1-2-3 ... noodle!
Justice is best when it's swift.
Reply to this
Haa ha! I haven't ever counted with my kids...mainly because my sister did it and raised a brat in the process. Ug! LOVE your blog name!!!! Hee hee!
Reply to this
This made me chuckle. That's exactly how it goes when I try to count to three also.
Reply to this
**Raising hand** I'm guilty. I count. I don't drag it out but swiftly get to three. So far, Sister has yet to see what happens if I get to three. Which is good because I have no idea what would happen either. Brother, who is just learning to count, just starts counting with me (I get to three, he reminds me that four comes next) so this is useless with him.
Reply to this
We've been counters for a while - but in a lazy fashion with no real concept of what number we should stop at and what to do when we got there.
We started counting in ernest about a week ago. Our 4 year old hates being counted. We phrase it like we're counting HER not just counting numbers for our health. We told her that if we got up to the number 3, she had to go to time out. She hates time out because she likes being with us and where the 'action' is. Since we started this, she's only gone past 2 a couple of times - and that was at the beginning. When she hears 2 she behaves. It's like she just flips a switch.
Our 2 year old doesn't quite grasp the concept. She also hates going to time out but she doesn't quite understand the whole counting thing. She just stands around to listen to us count as if we're trying to remind ourselves that we can.
Reply to this
We never even get to count before another crime is committed.
Reply to this
Have you learned nothing from James Bond movies?
You know that Bond always manages to escape, because the villain is busy describing the slow and painful death Bond is about to endure.
Imagine if Gold finger said, "Bond, you're going to die if you don't tell me where the gold bullions are hidden. I'm giving you until three..."
No, it's one...WHAM (I mean figuratively of course Ms. Child Services blog reader). You need to maintain the element of surprise. Oh, and sometimes instead of a time out you should just grab her and tickle her. This will totally confuse her. She'll never know what's in store.
Ah kids, there so much fun to screw with.
Reply to this
Okay, so I'm a counter. In my head I know it's probably a bad idea, but if it gets them moving than I like the bad idea.
You have to do a post-bulldozer post. I was extremely interested in what happens next. (duck tape and all)
Reply to this
Oh my.. guilty as charged!! I agree.. it doesnt always work.. but seriously... who really wants to get up from their breif computer brake just because you got to three!!
Reply to this
Ok... totally hilarious. Has that nurse ever heard of 1.2.3. magic? Totally works at my house w/kids I have adopted out of foster care.
Reply to this
LOL. I just started reading the 123 Magic Book and trying it out a bit with Little Guy. I thought it was a good idea! Time will tell...
My problem is that in order to put him in a "time out" I have to hold him in my lap and, well, I don't have much of a lap right now. Which means that I rarely want to do any counting b/c, um, have you every held a screaming 2 year old in your lap while you're 9 months pregnant? Yeah, not fun.
Reply to this
I jumped over here from .... um, another funny momblog where you had commented and I thought your blog name was funny and "totally could be my own b/c I have a Pimped Out Mamamobile aka minivan".
What was I saying?
I really don't know what I was going to say in my comment. A 6 y-o and a 6 m-o daily suck my brains out of my body via my ears and nips. I'm sure my comment would have been witty and insightful and, um, eloquent. But remember the brain sucking problem?
Well, I love your blog and have giggled for 30 minutes while letting the kids entertain each other (read: not kill each other.)
I'll be back. I'll let Google Reader remember the way back. 'kay?
Reply to this
Sometimes I tell my Punkin' that I'm gonna count to one.
You ought to see him jump.....
Reply to this
Great post keep it up
Reply to this
Such a nice blog
Reply to this
As we all know that Coach Handbags is always creating new handbags in different collection. That's why, all Coach customers are happy to see the new arrival of Coach Bags Outlet in many different styles and designs.If you are on the enthusiasm for Coach Coupon ergo considering to worth the discount, hence you fault finish palpable in that contrasted methods. The Coach Purses are rule trend these days since of the pertinent habit of these handbags.
Reply to this