Playgroup Posturing

Posted by Sheri at 7/5/2007 8:17 PM
Categories: uncategorized

More than once in my life I've been asked, "Who do you think you are?"  Since it was usually followed by an abrupt, "You're grounded, young lady," I don't feel like I've ever truly had the chance to fully explore the answer to this question...until now.  Effective immediately, who I think I am is the author of the new movement aptly titled "If You Wouldn't Say It At Home, Don't Say It At Chuck E. Cheese."

In light of this new movement, I am calling for a universal, across the board ban on the etiquette that mandates we say certain things to our kids when other mothers are around that we wouldn't say if they weren't.  For example, if the other mother wasn't around and my 21-month-old daughter took her child's toy (Wait, why isn't that other mom around?  What the...?) I would probably just let my daughter keep the toy and hand the other child a different toy and everyone would be happy.  Intellectually I know kids of this age aren't developmentally capable of sharing, but in a play date setting I feel compelled to have an entire conversation with my child I wouldn't otherwise have. 

"Excuse me, Bam Bam.  We don't take other kids' toys.  She was playing with it first, don't you understand?  Oh, you don't?  Because you're 21-months-old and I'm having this stupid conversation with you for the benefit of the other mother in the room whose child is probably going to bite you in like three minutes?  Anyway, as I was saying, please give her the toy back even though you didn't understand one word I just said and even if you did you really don't care.  And Crusher, you're in time-out right now!  'Why?' you have the nerve to ask me!  Because we've been at this play date for 25 minutes and the rules clearly state you must put a minimum of one of your children in time-out for every 30 minutes of play date time.  Sorry, Honey.  It's the rules."



I would like to make it clear that I am not calling for a ban on speaking to our husbands through our children. 

"Bam Bam, how come you need a diaper change every time I come home from leaving you alone with Daddy who's sitting right next to you but I'm pretending to be speaking to you instead of to him so I don't sound like a nag?"

That strategy's just genius and under no circumstances should be tampered with.

 

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