Cut The Cord And Run For Your Life!

Posted by Sheri at 7/3/2007 1:22 PM
Categories: uncategorized

Who invented brow waxing?  The same person who invented 21-month-olds and toilet paper dispensers that reluctantly offer one square at a time, that’s who.  In other news of unfathomable concepts, attachment parenting.  Don’t get attached, it’s a big mistake.  Be ready to cut the cord, spring your kids loose on a moment’s notice.  Knowing when to cut your losses is the key to good parenting.  The best parents are those who realize their kids are secretly plotting their demise in favor of the life insurance policy that will keep them gainfully unemployed well past the college years. 

You may think your kids are in the playroom right now innocently drawing age-appropriate pictures, but they’re not.  They’re scheming.  Those random scribbly lines on the paper are designed to look like the product of a three-year-old’s art prowess, but in reality they’re highly sophisticated charts and graphs using code to depict terms such as “term vs. whole life,” “executor,” and “executioner.”  If the children are over five they’ve already secured legal counsel.  Prepare to strike with a countermove, and under no circumstances let them know where you live.  When they’re old enough to read street signs, move. 

I’m not suggesting parents thoughtlessly abandon their children.  What I’m saying is give it much thought. 

 

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