Born Prematurely And I Hadn't Even Shaved My Legs!

Posted by Sheri at 6/8/2007 7:08 AM
Categories: uncategorized

I believe it was the ancient Egyptians who once said, “Every great blog deserves a great birthing story,” so here is mine:

As many of you know, Sheri (that's me) is not the most patient person in the world.  Evidently, impatience breeds impatience, and at 32 weeks gestation, little Crusher could not contain his excitement anymore and very unexpectedly joined us in the world.  He figured he had all of his important parts already, and who needs a uterus to grow eyebrows and eyelashes anyway?!


The timeline of events are as follows:

1. Sheri suspects her water breaks but isn't sure since she's only 32 weeks and 0 days along in the pregnancy, so not wanting to wake Ethan up in the event she's wrong, she goes downstairs and Googles "How to tell if your water broke." (NOTE: Sheri will later be made fun of for this by her family and friends.  She doesn't understand why.)

2. After being directed to the webpage www.ButIHaventPackedYet.com Sheri wakes up Ethan and calls the doctor who tells her to go promptly to the hospital.  Sheri thinks he meant to say, "Go promptly to the hospital, but first call everyone you’ve ever known and exclaim, ‘You won’t believe what just happened’!"  So she does.

3. Sheri and Ethan arrive at the hospital to be told she will be induced the following day, since she is dilated to the ripe old number of zero.

4. The next afternoon, after numerous exams and ultrasounds confirming baby is nowhere near ready, Sheri tells nurse she is having contractions.  Nurse tells her she isn’t.  Sheri tells her she is.  Nurse tells her she isn’t.  Sheri boldly curses nurse under her breath.

5. Fifteen minutes and no induction later, little Crusher is born to the surprise of everyone except his mother, who believes she told them so.

6. A team of neonatology specialists are on standby in the delivery room to begin work on a very little boy who is too busy trying to determine if the Red Sox really are cursed than to breathe (this is a time sensitive joke, if you don’t get it, please refer back to the 2004 World Series).

7. Sheri wishes she had access to a computer to Google "The importance of breathing: Truth or Myth?"

8. Crusher soon begins breathing on his own, leaving the NICU doctors and nurses surprised and impressed by his progress.

9. Sheri is so traumatized by this event, she waits almost THREE MONTHS before conceiving Bam Bam!

(I bet the Ancient Egyptians kept their blog entries more concise.)

 

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