Creation by Relaxation

Posted by Sheri at 5/22/2007 12:38 PM
Categories: uncategorized

Even now with two beautiful, healthy toddlers in tow, I am still in awe of the infertility experience we endured getting pregnant with my first born.  This hardship was highlighted by the daily doses of injectable hormones delivered straight into my hip twice a day by my own beloved, who practiced relentlessly on a grapefruit before he delivered the goods to my veins.  The correlation was always lost on me, but I appreciated his eagerness to play darts with citrus fruit prior to lunging a sharp stick in my side…twice a day!  That’s one more time a day than he tells me he loves me, and two more times a day than he tells me he loves me on days we’ve run out of citrus!

Like most people, I say I do my best to see the positive in an undesirable situation.  I do, and I did.  Positively stated, it was always very much appreciated when someone learned we were experiencing infertility and was able to resist the insatiable urge to remind us if we were just to relax, conception would follow.  Not sure where these people took sex ed. (Cue sex education video…then the sperm was released, and on its way to naturally searching for the most viable egg, took a detour to a day spa, enjoyed a facial with a soothing coconut wrap, then continued on its journey a much more relaxed sperm awaiting its now inevitable outcome of fertilizing the egg, which incidentally made a recent quick jaunt to Canyon Ranch for a hot rock massage before continuing its quest down the fallopian tubes.)

We found people felt far more comfortable instead of suggesting we would get pregnant should we merely relax, telling us a story of a couple they know who reached the holy grail in this fashion.  An example of such a story might go a little something like this, “Sorry you’re having so much trouble conceiving.  Hey, ya know what?  It just occurred to me!  My friends Lisa and Bob decided after years of not successfully conceiving to just give up the dream, abandon their passion for having kids entirely and instead, enjoy a relaxing vacation in the Bahamas.  In fact, prior to their departure, Lisa had a full hysterectomy, Bob had himself castrated, they both found an abstinence-based religion, enjoyed a celibate seven days in St. Martin, and when they arrived back home, boom, TRIPLETS!”

And thus concludes my story as to why violence will always have an acceptable place in society.

 

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